Over Closed Eyelids


over closed eyelids

the scent of shadows passing

late summer breeze


This poem was written in response to Carpe Diem Theme Week (6) 5 “Ask Jane …”, another great prompt from Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. The post at CDHK featured another fascinating essay by Jane Reichhold.  I tried to take on-board what Jane said about the fragment and phrase but I’m not sure about this haiku, really.

All of the poems in the link-up can be read here.  And, to finish, here’s the Isley Brothers –

6 thoughts on “Over Closed Eyelids

  1. Great response, Blake. I think you’ve got the phrase / fragment concept here … the first and third lines are interchangeable, but there’s a definite pause between 2nd and 3rd. So, it works for me. 🙂

    • Thanks, Jen. Still feeling a bit rusty – “is there enough in this or should I wedge in another word?”; “Is it clunky?” etc. Oh well, I’ll get the hang of it again 😉

      • I understand completely … after being silent for so long I doubt every single word and feel very vulnerable sometimes upon posting! But with time it’ll all arrive again.

        BTW, bought another book of Jane’s — “Naked Rock” – has her photos along with her haiku. Very interesting … worth looking into 🙂

    • When I’m back in a haiku/tanka reading mood, The Girl with Tangled Hair is first on my list. At the moment, though, I’m on a sports-themed reading list – just finished The Hustler (of Paul Newman fame), and now a book about Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe. BB and JM seem even more fictional than Fast Eddie, oddly.

      That reminds me – does the bridge scene of Susquehanna mean that you’re back taking photos?

      • Oh, let me know what you think of GWTH! 🙂

        Yes, taking photos …. but only on the mobile phone. I hope to get the camera out again once things calm down a bit. It feels GOOD to take photos … and good to add music to posts, too 🙂

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