my quiet heart
or fish returning upstream
in a silver wake
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This poem was written in response to Carpe Diem #863 Black Lake (Khar Us), another great prompt from Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. For this prompt we were asked to ‘distil’ this poem by Mongolian poet, L. Olziitogs:
Looking at mountains, I feel I am a mountain.
Looking at mist and haze, I feel I am a cloud.
After the rain has fallen, I feel that I am grass, and
When sparrows start to sing, I remember I am morning.
I am not a human, that’s for sure.
When stars flare up, I feel I am the darkness
When girls shed their clothes, I remember I am spring
When I smell the desire of everybody in this world,
I realize how my quiet heart is a fish’s.
I am not a human, that’s for sure.
Under the colorful sky, an immense EMPTINESS
Starting from today I am only…
All of the poems in the link-up can be read here. And, to finish, here’s Hawkwind –
Sweet FA by Blake 
Classic – excellent response
The original poem by L. Olziitogs was very haiku-friendly, wasn’t it? There must be a few dozen latent haiku in his lines..
I’m glad you enjoyed it.
The silver wake is beautiful —
And yet there’s an ambiguity in returning upstream. Quiet … but a bit of an effort, too, correct?
For me, returning upstream brings salmon to mind – a crazy struggle to spawn and die. So, yes, extreme effort – then rest, or…
Thanks, Jen. I thought the inspiration poem was very conducive to haiku-ing, didn’t you? In fact, I think I’ll pop over to see what direction you took now..
Extreme indeed!
The poem was inspiring — in much the same vein of The Delight Song of Tsoai-talee 🙂