ssshh… see
a bright sail rests, enviously
still, a half moon
###
This poem was written in response to Carpe Diem Special #182 Ese’s third “in the darkest hour “, another great prompt at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. All of the poems in the link-up can be read here. And, to finish, here’s John Cale –
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Such a sense of mystery here; it brings so many images to mind. Both stated and implied … and “shhh… see” works so well as an opening line. 🙂
Thanks, Jen. I quite like that line too 🙂 Partly because ‘see’ was the last word I added and partly because it could almost be non-words, just sounds.
Wow!! Feeling magic and hope here !
Oh that’s nice – staring at a bright moon has that effect, don’t you find? I’ve always found it uplifting somehow 🙂
Totally agree!
elegant…
Glad you liked the haiku 🙂
Delightful … I can see that bright sail under the half moon … a marvelous vision.
This is one of my favourite things about haiku – I stood and looked up at a dazzling half moon and could have written “the half-moon was like a sail”, but from a haiku it’s possible to see a scene that contains an actual sail and boat. I do love those shifting perspectives you get from a haiku 🙂
Thanks, Georgia.
Yes you’re right about that … one of the high points of haiku! Welcome Blake.
Well earned praises.
Oh thanks, Janice 🙂