before the warmth
of tears, eyelashes clink with frost
in winter darkness
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This poem was written in response to Carpe Diem #848 Frosted Grass, another great prompt from Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. All of the poems in the link-up can be read here. And, to finish, here’s Elmore James –
Fragile beauty … I like how you have turned “grass” into eyelashes …
Well, I kind of ran out of syllables before I could get to the grass, really – so the eyelashes had to stand in. But in my imagination the person is walking across the frosty grass in the winter night…
Echoing Chevrefeuille – love your interpretation! And the Elmore James is a great accompaniment 🙂
Thanks, Jen. Slide guitar has been sorely lacking at Sweet FA, I’m afraid [tutting sounds from the whole wide WP world]. Though I can’t quite decide if it’s a frosty sound or a sound to warm us up – hmm…
Hmmm… now that is a dilemma!
I’ll have to ask around 😉
This is magnificent .. in haiku a lot goes without saying … the grass of course is there even if you don’t actually mention grass as well as trees or fields or whatever is in the heart of the reader who reads your ku .. it’s the impressionistic quality of haiku that allows us to create a scene, an a-ha moment with so few syllables. You’ve created a wonderfully complete scene here.
Thanks, Georgia. That’s definitely one of the aspects of haiku I enjoy most – when a snippet of a scene flashes into focus and invites you to construct the backdrop and meaning. It’s practically interactive 🙂
And well done on winning the kukai – your haiku is just exquisite!
Thanks so much Blake for the congrats! You’re right of course … a haiku is an interactive experience … each adding their own life experience as they read the ku.