electric blue
the sky drops a thin shard
onto green grass – dragonfly
###
This poem was written in response to Carpe Diem Utabukuro #7 a drop of water by Cor van den Heuvel, another great prompt from Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. In this post I used the poem chosen by Chèvrefeuille as an inspiration:
a drop of water
floats by the canoe
on a curled leaf
© Cor van den Heuvel
What I like about this haiku is how it paints a scene but then plays with the reader’s expectations: the canoe should float on the water but here the water floats by the canoe, not only that but when I visualise that drop of water on the leaf it seems to be mimicking the appearance of a person sat in their canoe. “Surprise” is one of the classic elements of haiku and this poem is a subtle example of the technique.
All of the poems in the link-up can be read here. And, to finish, here’s The Primitives –
And you are the MASTER of surprise in haiku! Beautifully written, Blake — !!!
Perhaps as a fiction writer I just feel more comfortable with the safety net of a plot twist here and there..?
Thanks, Jen 🙂
Quite possible! But hey, I’m glad you found a way to incorporate those plot twists into haiku 😉
Very welcome 🙂
Excellent haiku… I love the effect of your words blended with blue tones!. Happy week dear Sue. Aquileana ⭐
It was a beautiful summer day, with a bright blue sky and a bright blue dragonfly 🙂 Thanks, dear Aquileana and happy weekend!