Electric

 

electric blue

the sky drops a thin shard

onto green grass – dragonfly

###

This poem was written in response to Carpe Diem Utabukuro #7 a drop of water by Cor van den Heuvel, another great prompt from Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. In this post I used the poem chosen by Chèvrefeuille as an inspiration:

a drop of water
floats by the canoe
on a curled leaf

© Cor van den Heuvel

What I like about this haiku is how it paints a scene but then plays with the reader’s expectations: the canoe should float on the water but here the water floats by the canoe, not only that but when I visualise that drop of water on the leaf it seems to be mimicking the appearance of a person sat in their canoe. “Surprise” is one of the classic elements of haiku and this poem is a subtle example of the technique.

All of the poems in the link-up can be read here. And, to finish, here’s The Primitives –

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5 thoughts on “Electric

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