then a tall stillness
from this small hill I hold onto
today’s clouds
###
This poem was written in response to On The Trail With Basho Encore 4 such stillness, another great prompt hosted by Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. All of the poems in the link-up can be read here. And, to finish, here’s The Orb –
“tall stillness” – wow
The clouds were so immense, still and solid-looking in the blue sky that day that it felt as if you could easily travel up there and walk around to your heart’s content – a very restful feeling! And when I tried to describe it, this was the phrase that came to mind. Glad you liked it.
Echoing Moondust — “tall stillness” stopped me in my tracks. (Am I allowed to say ‘wow’ too?) Wondering about “onto” – perhaps it could be cut without losing meaning? (Saying that as someone who struggles mightily with articles and prepositions on a daily basis, so perhaps I’m wrong!) Still — ‘tall stillness’ is wonderful. 🙂
(And — your blog has the best soundtrack!) 😉
Ah so that’s a preposition? My grasp of the technical terms of English grammar has been kept to a ridiculous minimum, either by choice or laziness… I’m too lazy to decide which 🙂
You’re right, of course. The haiku works very nicely without ‘onto.’ I included it due to the pleasing dizziness that occurred as I stopped staring into, and being absorbed by, the tall stillness – a brief feeling of having to hold onto something 🙂
As for ‘tall stillness’, as I just mentioned to Moondust:
The clouds were so immense, still and solid-looking in the blue sky that day that it felt as if you could easily travel up there and walk around to your heart’s content – a very restful feeling! And when I tried to describe it, this was the phrase that came to mind.
Thanks, Jen!
Ahhh… That makes sense 🙂
What a moment, too !!!
Very welcome 🙂