The Angles of Snow

 

the angles of snow

drift along the night time path –

fallen blossoms

###

This poem was written in response to Carpe Diem #725, white blossoms, another great prompt hosted by Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. All of the poems in the link-up can be read here. And, to finish, here’s Sam Cooke –
 

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9 thoughts on “The Angles of Snow

  1. Ahhhhh! Great tune 🙂

    *Feels* and *sounds* good when spoken aloud! A new layer with each reading too – especially your use of “fallen”. “Angles” gives it a bit of an edge (so to speak!) – is this word play (angle vs angel)? Very interesting!

    • I’m revelling in a Sam Cooke phase at the moment 🙂

      Oh I’m pleased you said that – I realise now that for a while I’ve been aiming at getting lines not to be too plain but not too lyrical, either; instead to *feel* and *sound* good when spoken aloud. So, it’s nice to know that I got some syllables to behave as asked 😉 Thanks, Jen!

      As for wordplay, etc, I tend to let anyone reading invent their own – far easier. It’s like when someone asked Ingrid Bergman for acting tips; she said, “Make a blank face and let the music tell the story for you.” I write with a blank face 🙂

      • You’re very welcome. 😀

        When I write haiku I (usually) read each one aloud — to get a better feel for it. (Eyes will trick you!) Your haiku as well – because the way you craft each haiku is unique and you make your readers slow down a bit. They need to be digested – and that’s a very good thing 🙂

      • Really? That’s interesting. I never read aloud. I wonder if that’s how you’re able to introduce a chatty element into your haiku at times – when the lines read with the natural rhythms of speech..?

        Then again, I don’t often read aloud the dialogue when I’m writing prose, either. The voice in my head seems more than loud enough, usually 😛

      • Voices in your head, huh? No comment!
        [Just kidding!]

        Yes, reading aloud is helpful – it helps me smooth out the rough edges. Less “literary” and more “natural”. Literary can be good – but too much chafes my muses 😉

      • Ah I remember years and years ago feeling distinctly miffed as I realised that for a whole lifetime I’d be stuck with this same voice in my head, day after day – that’ll soon get pretty tedious, I thought! Maybe that’s partly what writing was for – to try to let in other voices for a while.

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