the angles of snow
drift along the night time path –
fallen blossoms
###
This poem was written in response to Carpe Diem #725, white blossoms, another great prompt hosted by Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. All of the poems in the link-up can be read here. And, to finish, here’s Sam Cooke –
IN MEMORY EVERYTHING SEEMS TO HAPPEN TO MUSIC -Tennessee Williams
Musings on poetry, language, perception, numbers, food, and anything else that slips through the cracks.
Scout's 20th Century Flash
the life and work of an sf author and his independent publishing company
Paloma's Pen
Poetry and Haiku - Looking to make the ordinary more than mundane.
Saving the world, one book sale at a time.
Japanese Lyrics, Poetry and Manga
a book review blog
A great WordPress.com site
A celebration of language and the written word (with a little art on the side).
Poetry and fiction by a physicist from the dark side
Stories, poems and thoughts about things I find interesting!
Learn Haiku Through Cartoons
"We're all out there, somewhere, waiting to happen."
Snow as blossoms, blossoms as snow—the path is covered and hard to discern…
A Few White Blossoms
True. A couple of nights I found myself doing a double-take: “Snow..? No, don’t be silly, it’s May!”
Ahhhhh! Great tune 🙂
*Feels* and *sounds* good when spoken aloud! A new layer with each reading too – especially your use of “fallen”. “Angles” gives it a bit of an edge (so to speak!) – is this word play (angle vs angel)? Very interesting!
I’m revelling in a Sam Cooke phase at the moment 🙂
Oh I’m pleased you said that – I realise now that for a while I’ve been aiming at getting lines not to be too plain but not too lyrical, either; instead to *feel* and *sound* good when spoken aloud. So, it’s nice to know that I got some syllables to behave as asked 😉 Thanks, Jen!
As for wordplay, etc, I tend to let anyone reading invent their own – far easier. It’s like when someone asked Ingrid Bergman for acting tips; she said, “Make a blank face and let the music tell the story for you.” I write with a blank face 🙂
You’re very welcome. 😀
When I write haiku I (usually) read each one aloud — to get a better feel for it. (Eyes will trick you!) Your haiku as well – because the way you craft each haiku is unique and you make your readers slow down a bit. They need to be digested – and that’s a very good thing 🙂
Really? That’s interesting. I never read aloud. I wonder if that’s how you’re able to introduce a chatty element into your haiku at times – when the lines read with the natural rhythms of speech..?
Then again, I don’t often read aloud the dialogue when I’m writing prose, either. The voice in my head seems more than loud enough, usually 😛
Voices in your head, huh? No comment!
[Just kidding!]
Yes, reading aloud is helpful – it helps me smooth out the rough edges. Less “literary” and more “natural”. Literary can be good – but too much chafes my muses 😉
Ah I remember years and years ago feeling distinctly miffed as I realised that for a whole lifetime I’d be stuck with this same voice in my head, day after day – that’ll soon get pretty tedious, I thought! Maybe that’s partly what writing was for – to try to let in other voices for a while.
Fallen angels and snowy blossoms, maybe?…
Very nice! … Best wishes. Aquileana ⭐