I Always Miss You

 

I always miss you –

as clear moonlight passes through

the silver lake

###

This poem was written in response to Carpe Diem Tokubetsudesu, N. Scott Momaday’s “the Delight Song of Tsoai-talee”, another great prompt hosted by Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. My favourite line from the ‘Delight Song’ is this:

“I am the long track of the moon in a lake”

– so, I wrote around that image, of a fashion.

All of the poems in the link-up can be read here. And, to finish, here’s Scott Walker –
 

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8 thoughts on “I Always Miss You

  1. Beautiful, beautiful 🙂 I love how you took the line from Momaday – reinterpreted it – and made it your own. It feels as if it is both amplified and clarified, if that makes any sense. (???)

    Coupled with this piece of music it is both sad and dreamy —
    [sigh….!]

    • Sad and dreamy, I like that – it’s pretty much what I was going for 🙂

      The part in the original about “the long track” seemed to have a sadness to it – made me think of the moon and the lake seeking and missing each other, like a native American myth.

      Thanks, Jen. And thanks for choosing the poem in the first place 🙂

    • Thanks, Georgia – what a lovely comment! I’ve read numerous haiku through the CDHK prompts that have made me want to try to make my own versions of what I found in those three lines. So. I’m a big fan of ‘inspiring’ 🙂

      • Well, I agree with you, Georgia! The opposite of experimenting is complacency, as far as I’m concerned, and I expect that’ll kill your writing (haiku or otherwise) in no time.

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