in the white blossom
petals that fall each second
each second
###
This poem was written in response to Carpe Diem Sparkling Stars # 21, Buson’s “I came to the cherry blossoms”, another great prompt hosted by Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. All of the poems in the link-up can be read here. And, to finish, here’s Nick Drake –
IN MEMORY EVERYTHING SEEMS TO HAPPEN TO MUSIC -Tennessee Williams
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Yes!!! And weren’t you the haijin uncomfortable with repetition? (Ahem?) I really like this 🙂
Not uncomfortable. I was just reluctant to give up those extra syllables to the same words twice!
But – those Writing Techniques do keep coming to mind and asking to be put to use again. I hope Chev realises what an impression those posts made.
And… watching the blossoms fall is one of those moments when, from second to second, you can see the world around you ageing. And yourself, of course 🙂
Oh yes … time slipping away … gone, gone, gone. 😦
But anyway – I’m glad you gave up those extra syllables. You hit the jackpot with this particular gamble. 🙂
And yes. After embracing some of those writing techniques – or at least being nudged to try them – there’s no going back, is there? Not once it “clicks” into place.
Having slipped behind on my replies for the last few day (harumph!), I’ll pick up the thread about… here! And say I agree with you absolutely – just being aware of all of those different options and possible ways of “solving” the 5-7-5, it definitely changes your perspective.
Btw I’m listening to the Dream Letter album at the moment – Love from room 109 is gorgeous 🙂
And thanks for your encouragement here regarding a technique I was a bit “shaky” about 😛
Very welcome 🙂
And you’ve made me want to revisit Dream Letter this evening !
So now with the awareness… Knowing ‘which technique, when, and how’ comes next! So many challenges for such a short poem 😉
Perfect repetition in this haiku.