nearby waves
lap the isles of the blest
so swim and swim and
###
This poem was written in response to Carpe Diem #656 Isle Of The Blessed (Hoorai), another great prompt hosted by Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. All of the poems in the link-up can be read here. And, to finish, here’s a song about Shangri-Las –
Nicely written Sue … I like that repetition in your last line.
Thanks, Chèvrefeuille. As I commented at CDHK, the ‘Techniques’ prompts have given some great pointers for different ways of writing a haiku – this is one that was influenced by tips I picked up 🙂
… and swim and swim ….!
[Yes …. it’s going to be a long, long swim ….shorter if you don’t survive the swim, I suppose ….!]
Echoing Chev, here — the repetition works so well. 😀
Yes, I thought any additional syllables might be ‘glug glug’ 😦
Thanks, Jen. The Repetition prompt was key, plus there was a John Cooper Clarke haiku at CDHK a while back in which he ‘accidentally’ ran out of syllables. For some reason that came back to me 🙂
Hmmmmm…. I’ll have to look for that JCC haiku …. totally escapes me right now!
Have been exploring repetition and onomatopoeia in non-CDHK prompts lately …. these techniques have been more useful than I’d thought they’d be! 🙂
Worked great here 🙂