Still

 

still pigeons

see the still clouds grow greyer

and grow greyer

###

This poem was written in response to Carpe Diem’s Haiku Writing Techniques #3, Repetition, another great prompt hosted by Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. All of the poems in the link-up can be read here. And, to finish, here’s something weird and psychedelic from the Pretty Things –
 

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8 thoughts on “Still

  1. Pigeons! Paloma’s cousins! Already the haiku gets a thumbs-up! 😉

    The repetition WORKS so well, though. An ominous feel to “grow greyer / and grow greyer” — and strangely, repeating “still” works here too. As if the pigeons will disappear into that greyness….

    Nicely done 🙂

    • Thanks, Jen! It took a while to get here..

      Did you find this tricky? After you’ve repeated words you’ve lost another 4 or 5 syllables, so to make something meaningful gets even trickier – and I had all the trickiness I could handle before 😛

      So, I’m glad you liked it and the pigeon 🙂

      • Oh yes …. I had a heck of a time with it! It’s as if the repetition itself becomes the focus — which can be so tricky. But you handled it quite well 🙂

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