little stars
shining words scatter
from a little mouth
talk is so little
under all the little stars
the vaguest comfort
then talk closes
in the distance between us
little stars
little stars
who hears brilliant words
come close
###
This poem was written in response to Carpe Diem #635, Stars, another great prompt hosted by Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. All of the poems in the link-up can be read here. And, to finish, here’s a delicate song by Big Star –
Those little words that come close . . . but . . . not quite close enough, right? At first I read this as a child talking to the narrator . . . but by the third haiku it seems more like a growing distance between a man and a woman – star-crossed lovers, perhaps? Very nice — much to think about !
Yes, there could be some shifting among the characters involved here. The stars prompt made me think of a particular scene, but one of the things I found myself struggling with, haiku-wise, was trying to cram in too much info into the three lines. That’s why I now sometimes link more than one haiku, looking from a slightly different angle each time – it eases the pressure on those three lines 😉
Sounds familiar! I’ve started with a haiku that evolves into a tanka, which morphs into a series of haiku … and on … and on …
But … I like what you did here. 🙂
Hmm I think it’s probably necessary to find coping mechanisms when dealing with haiku 😉
LOL!
Yeah … sorry about that, by the way 😉
… and, for some reason, I always enjoy the immense sense of my littleness I get from looking up at a starry night. I find it reassuring, somehow 🙂
What is world-shattering to us is just a “blip” – or less than a blip — to the stars. 🙂
I see a little bit a voices drawing constellations making sense with those voices.
Absolutely beautiful… I love the third stanza…
Best regards!, Aquileana 😀
Thanks, Aquileana! If it captures any of the beauty of a starlit night then I’m more than happy 😉