on porcelain dolls
on the frosty, still faces
she sees smiles curl
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This poem was written for Carpe Diem “Sparkling Stars” #13, “to the dolls” by Ransetsu, another great prompt hosted by Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. All of the poems in the link-up can be read here.
Great visual echoes here — frost and smiles curling on the cold, hard, lifeless faces — !
So well crafted — wow.
Thanks, Jen, although I had to cut the similie in the 2nd line today. It was only little and it made a nice phrase but… it just nagged at me 😛
Ah … been there too!
Although, if it makes you feel better, I’ve seen some Basho and Issa haiku that use similes. But it’s all about what you’re comfortable with. 🙂
Hmm for me, at the moment, it feels a bit like cheating on my haiku practice 😛
And I forgot to mention how much I love Ransetsu’s haiku that provided the prompt – an entire drama and characterisation in 3 lines. Amazing!
Does feel a bit like playing hooky, doesn’t it? 😉
Glad you liked the prompt – she’s an amazing writer 🙂 — artist too.