A shred of days
Soon capsizes in oceans
Of departure
###
This poem was written for Carpe Diem Ghost Writer #32, A Dream Within A Dream, another great prompt hosted by Chèvrefeuille at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. In this prompt our guest writer, Jen from Blog It Or Lose It, presented us with “A Dream within a Dream” by Edgar Allan Poe, and asked for our responses. All of the poems in the link-up can be read here. Meanwhile, here’s a wistful Kinks song about days (complete with some classic 1960s BBC radio commentary).
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Ah, the Kinks! You’ve had a great soundtrack lately 😉
A shred of days, a flow of swallows — your terminology for groups of items — very imaginative and appropriate — very nice!
Another one, Blake, that begs to be read several times to be appreciated. You give us enough to create an image, a feeling — but not so much that there’s only one interpretation. (If that makes sense.)
Sigh… we’ll take the “lateness apologies” as read this time, shall we? 😦
So, you like the Kinks? Never quite sure how easily they transfer to the USA, since they were the first avowedly English rock’n’roll band. But great songs have a knack of making themselves welcome, regardless 😉
Despite my late reply, I certainly read this a while ago because I liked your compliment about my “terminology for groups of items” – this comment stayed with me so that, when I was working on Skeletons of Streets I thought “Oo look, I’ve done that again – I don’t really want it to become a habit…” So, I felt a bit self-conscious about it and tried adjusting the line, but “Skeleton streets” or “Skeletal streets” just weren’t as good. And in the end I thought “pfft I’ll keep the line this time and once I’ve written more haiku (that don’t do that) it won’t look so much like a routine I picked up..” 😉
Again, I’m glad you found it layered enough to be open to interpretation.
Oh, the Kinks have a big following here. Early Kinks, especially – though there’s much that goes unheard here, sadly.
Sorry to have made you self conscious … Rats … Definitely not my intention. But… I can relate to not wanting to get stuck in a poetic groove. I worry about my doves much the same way. But really – this didn’t look routine at all. 🙂
Oh self-conscious wasn’t the right word, then, since I didn’t mean to imply any negative connotation – I meant “aware”, that’s all 🙂
Writing fiction so often I’m always keen to try different approaches to keep it feeling fresh for me. And, as I get more settled in the haiku writing groove , I’d like to try do that here, too. If possible…
You’ll find it quite a challenge in haiku – it feels easy to get a pattern going and then run with it each time. I have gotten too comfortable with the gerunds and have been trying to mix it up a bit. But it’s rough with so few syllables available!! So seeing Transtromer and Wright was refreshing -opened new doors.
But – your prose is amazing. Always fresh, like it’s effortless for you. Quite envious!
Why, thank you! Mostly stories do get written relatively smoothly, although I expect that’s partly because I enjoy the process and so don’t pay so much attention to the work involved 🙂 Although the last story I posted was hard work… sheesh! Nearly gave up on it several times.
Perhaps that’s why I’m enjoying Bluebottle Bob and Coop so much.. . fun to just write and not think about writing…..
No writing tonight though…. Computer crash!
Really? So, no posts tonight – that must be a wrench 😦
Finally got something up — the juggler and so weary — but it was hard-fought! And, oh, the handwriting one too. Making the best of a bad situation!
I’m jealous of how you can write these so well. I’ve been trying lately but I’m never satisfied with mine. “A shred of days” is just such a good line. I always take so many words to create images but you can do it with so few.
Oh there can be lots of juggling with images before those three lines fall into a shape that seems acceptable, trust me. But if you can get it to work properly then it seems so obvious and simple, which is part of a haiku’s appeal, really 🙂
At Carpe Diem there’s a free ebook by Jane Reichhold (on the left sidebar) about haiku history and techniques, which I’ve found interesting and useful
http://chevrefeuillescarpediem.blogspot.co.uk/
…in fact, the ebook I was referring to is in the right sidebar, with another located on the left side 🙂
Cheers, will have a read of that now 🙂