Feline Alchemy – greatest hypothetical movie soundtrack ever pt.2

I refer you back to pt.1 of the Feline Alchemy soundtrack for the rationale of this post; also, for unmissable links to more pop music of splendour.  Now, here is the equally gorgeous pt. 2 –

 
Chapter 5 – Pixies, Caribou

“This human form where I was born I now repent.”

Pixies were the most bizarre, non-conformist, thrilling mix of practically every element that US rock music felt the need to overlook/dismiss/neglect/ban from the airwaves. In their prime the singer once described Pixies as “ruined cool.” He was right. US rock music was unsurprisingly wrong. Black Francis’ singing here veers typically between the raucous, petulant and angelic. Of course, nowadays when angels fall they end up flogging the consumerist wet dream for Apple. But let’s remember them this way.

 

Chapter 6 – Siouxsie & the Banshees, Peek-a-boo

“Furtive eyes peep out of holes.”

Rulebook for creating a classic single – Step 1: take an old recording from your studio vaults. Step 2: play aforesaid old recording backwards. Step 3: add accordion and a strident vocal that sounds like an ambulance crashing. Step 4: Rip up the rulebook. Easy. When I have a child I shall name her (or him) Siouxsie Sue. And everyone else should do the same.

 

Chapter 7 – Velvet Underground, Venus in Furs

“Ermine furs adorn the imperious.”

It’s 1967 – ok, let’s mix Leopold von Sacher-Masoch with rock’n’roll. Erm… what?! Enter the Velvet Underground. Lou Reed changes the game indelibly, inventing the indie/alternative outlook from scratch in the process. John Cale sprinkles avant-garde weirdness into the brew whenever it needs an extra kick. On this song Cale scrapes complaints out of an electric viola like sinews being stretched on the rack, appropriately enough.

 

Chapter 8 – The Jam, Ghosts

“Lift up your lonely heart and walk right on through.”

Notable among the debris that UK punk junked and scattered liberally about the music scene was a certain elegance and sophistication in terms of outlook and presentation. Those ideas were suspect and passé. Paul Weller was the exception that made an ass of the rule. Not only did the lyrics have the precision of Ray Davies but the Rickenbacker had to look exactly right. That isn’t vacuousness; it’s attention to detail, the watchword of 60s mods. It meant that The Jam were the key bridge between the brightest English 60s bands, punk, and later The Smiths. Surely, compliments don’t come much higher?

 

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Feline Alchemy – soundtrack pt.1

When Hollywood gets its grubby little mitts on Feline Alchemy it will doubtless provide a soundtrack. And this soundtrack will doubtless be irredeemably naff. So, in order to offer some much-needed guidance, I’ve created a faultless soundtrack for the story, as will be unveiled in this and succeeding posts. The fact that Feline Alchemy is essentially an indie/alternative/post-punk kind of story explains the prevalence of these types of songs in the soundtrack.

 
Chapter 1 – Cat Power, Sea of Love

“That’s the day I knew you were my pet.”

Promise of devotion or thinly veiled threat?  It’s always nice to see the tense undercurrents that accidentally lurk in old pop songs.  Over a spectral harp Cat Power breathes out the melody like a drowning angel, pretty much.

 

Chapter 2 – Boo Radleys, Lazarus

“Maybe now I should change?  You see, I’m losing my faith…” 

After a dub reggae intro paces back and forth like a psychedelic panther counting the bars of its cage, you’re greeted with a sunburst of trumpets galloping over the horizon – a crescendo of affirmation. Self-explanatory, really.

 

Chapter 3 – Tricky, Hell is Around the Corner

“Distant drums bring the news of a kill tonight.”

Isaac Hayes gets turned inside out.  Naturally enough, this results in a certain amount of gore and a mumbling high-priest interprets the entrails, making dark promises in a language no-one’s heard before.  Isms and schisms anyone?

 

Chapter 4 – The Smiths, Panic

“I wonder to myself… couldn’t life ever be sane again?”

Johnny Marr channels classic T Rex while Morrissey smuggles a death threat against DJs onto daytime radio.  Precisely how pop music’s supposed to be, surely?

Feline Alchemy – publication

Feline Alchemy is published as an e-book today, revolutionising the dark fantasy genre at a stroke…

Cultural commentators haven’t begun to comment on this milestone, as yet, but when they do they’ll no doubt rehash the kind of flattering descriptions I currently have running around inside my head, e.g.

“Written in a chatty style, like a series of blog posts, Feline Alchemy is a quirky paranormal story set in modern-day England. The book is a warped romance and social satire, as well as an urban fantasy that blends the fairy tale elements of Angela Carter with the classic horror of the film ‘Cat People’ and Joe Orton’s sly humour.”

Yep, that’s probably what they’ll say.